she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
