The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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