i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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