You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
