I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
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I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
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Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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