i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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