Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
