that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
