Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
