He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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