At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
