6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
