Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
