I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize