Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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