Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
