I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
