I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
