White coat. Heels.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
