I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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