I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
