literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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