The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
