My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
