I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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