hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
