If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
