He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
