What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
