I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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