I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
