i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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