three words: i give head
three words: not that well
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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