Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize