you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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