I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
