CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
