i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is