Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.

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(248): View more from Michigan

They have a pepper shaker for pot.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.

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(325): View more from Texas

She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

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(650): View more from California

That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.

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(757): View more from Virginia

YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

Wait, that's an option?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?

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