alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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