I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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