Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
