My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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