my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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