By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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