I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize