Cold hands, warm shart.
Screwed.edu
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize