Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
