a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
