He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
