the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
