party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
