Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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