Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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