Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
