The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
