so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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