hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
