i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
