I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
there is glitter all over my balls
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